I have often contemplated "why I am the way I am" and what may have led to my fascination with cross-dressing and feminine things. I grew up in the 70's-80's, and one thing, among others, that I remember vividly is the Virginia Slims girl. I remember thumbing through my mom's magazine's, eagerly looking for the new ads every month. As I rode in the car with my parents, my gaze was fixed on the billboards for Virginia Slims. Remember those? For me, I think it definitely had an influence on my desire for cross-dressing.
We all know that society is filled with double standards. Nothing is said or even noticed if a woman wants to be a mechanic, or dress in baggy clothes, etc. She is thought of as a tomboy or "liberated". But, if a man is a ballroom dancer, wears skinny jeans, and paints his nails (even if he paints his nails black), he is usually thought of as gay and immediately outcast. I'm sure this hits home with many of you! For me, that has been one of the biggest frustrations in living my life as a CD. Can't wear heels, can't wear a skirt, can't wear makeup, can't dance with my arms in the air, etc.
Well, those VS ads fueled both my desire and my frustration in a big way. It represented, not only beautiful, sexy, strong women, but it also represented something that was "forbidden". It was like, "I can't smoke a Virginia Slim, because, that is just for women". So, add that to the already long list of can't do's.
And, I always thought there was just something so sexy and feminine about those pretty girls in their high heels smoking a long Virginia Slim. Of course, there have been other brands that came along - Eve, Misty, Capri - all feminine, all "just for women". But, there is still something about Virginia Slims that makes my heart flutter. Is this stupid? Tell me I'm not crazy!
I don't mean to offend you if you're a non-smoker or think that smoking is a disgusting habit. That's not the point here. I'm simply reaching back to one of those moments in my life that I can identify as a "connection" - something that may have led in some way to who I am.
To this day, I don't feel fully "en femme" unless I have my Virginia Slims 120's in my purse. I'm not a smoker in every day life, but it's just one of those weird things about being a CD that is hard to understand. I suppose that I always will wonder the many "why" parts of this strange but oh-so-fun journey!
Anyway, I would love to hear comments from anyone who can recall a similarly strange experience.